I don’t remember the exact day I heard the term Coronavirus, but I certainly didn’t know it was soon to be largest phenomena I would witness in my lifetime. I do remember where I heard it…at work one day when I referenced my upcoming cruise with The Angels. The sweetest lady I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and the joy of working with, told me I shouldn’t go on that cruise because I could catch Coronavirus. I didn’t know what she was talking about at first because when she’s catching up on the news, I’m busy with all the activities that come to a mom with busy teenagers. Not complaining or nothin’, that’s just where we both are in our lives. So I look up some news, see it’s all about China, and decide it doesn’t matter since I’m not going on a cruise that connects to China.
As the time for my cruise draws closer (set for President’s Day week), I hear a little more hear and there, and I hear the change from “not transmissible human-to-human” to “well, it looks like human transmission is possible”. But it’s still all about China. So, meh.
Then I start hearing about some cruise ship floating around with infected people. “Quarantine” and “Isolation” become words discussed in social groups now. Talk is swirling of other countries, other than China, having cases of Coronavirus. My sweet office lady is telling me daily not to go on the cruise. Other people are starting to say, “Are you still going?”, “Make sure to wash your hands!”, and other panicky things…some in a joking manner and some in a serious manner.
*Side Note – I was also worried about this cruise because I’ve had increasing issues with motion sickness over the past five years. I went prepared with two kinds of motion sickness meds, pressure bands, ginger candy, and lots of hope. I’ve described lots of details about the actual cruise on my social media, so I won’t go into that here.
So fast forward toward the end of my cruise. I try making the most of this last sea-day (the least fave day for someone with motion sickness). I sleep in a little, read my book and eat a leisurely breakfast while watching the sun tick across the line of the ocean. I go to the tucked away jewel on the top deck at the front of the ship (queue Titanic music here, LOL) where very few people are around, so it’s quiet and tranquil on an otherwise busy ship. I lay with the warm sun on my face and the wind whipping in my hair and I take solace in the sensory overload experience that somehow pushes down the motion sickness feelings temporarily. I go straight to the Lincoln Center meet & greet and stay for a beautiful chamber orchestra performance with a French theme. From there it’s tea time with my Angels, then a trip to the spa (heated stone lounge chairs with a view of the ocean–Heavenly!), then ready for another gala night dinner. After dinner, I dash down to enjoy another Lincoln Center chamber performance–this time Schumann. I’m leaving it a little early to meet the girls for the big evening entertainment, and when I get up I feel slightly weak. (I figure I’ve actually been pretty active this week, so maybe my lazy ass was tired.) As I get to the other end of the ship to meet my friends, I start coughing. (I chalk it up to allergies, as I have so many allergies that I’m used to a cough showing up somewhere on a trip away from home.) I start feeling out of it during the evening entertainment–so much so that I still don’t recall much about the performance; it was a variety act with several of the groups from earlier in the week (a dance troupe and a comedian, I think). We get up to go play group Scattergories, and I feel totally worn out. I sit with the group and play the game, but I feel like I’m in a fog. I head straight to bed feeling chilled and weak. I don’t sleep well as I can’t get warm enough and I can’t stop coughing (on top of the motion sickness being the worse at night). We get up early for the day I looked most forward to — a cabana and snorkeling in the Bahamas — and I feel like I was beat up all night. I try to eat breakfast but I don’t feel like eating and everything seems to make me cough. I tell the group I’m going to lay back down for awhile and then join them. I don’t lay there more than 15 minutes before I realize something is very wrong and I need to go to medical.
Well, medical is a joke. They’re open very limited hours (four hours total that day) and there seems to be one nurse and one doctor, and a waiting room with quite a few people. I tell them I’m certain I have a fever, and I’m coughing into my elbow the whole time. I ask if they have a mask and they say I’ll get one later if I’m deemed to need one. There’s no hand sanitizer at the counter or in the waiting area. There are lots of other things that are done wrong that I’m not going to get bogged down into. The doctor swabs me for the flu, turns around and does something on the counter, and turns back to me and says “You have the flu.”
Mind you, I was in there weak and running, as it turns out, a 103 temperature. I don’t realize until many days later that there’s no way she ran a flu test in that time.
I go through an ordeal for the last 24 hours of my cruise. At this moment, I cannot relive those hours. I know that sounds dramatic but it is what it is. I thought I was going to die on that boat that night. At the time I knew they were doing some of this quarantine stuff poorly. Now I know they were doing all of it wrong, as I’ve learned a lot about quarantines here lately.
By the strength of God, I was able to put on my purse and backpack, and roll a suitcase off that ship. Travel that day and next is a blur. My sweet friends got me through FL and into GA, but they had to stop overnight. Every rest stop and the hotel got me plenty of fearful and/or angry “looks” with my medical mask. I finally got home and I kept everyone (okay, everyone except Thom) at bay but talked a little about my trip. I went to bed early, and then I broke.
I was still fighting a fever and unbelievably weak and felt like I was looking out at life while in a black hole. I felt the intensity of the ship rocking during a storm, even though my feet had been on land for days. I don’t know if it was the illness or the Tamiflu or the fact that they had given me cough medicine with Guaifenesin as one of the many ingredients (and that I’m allergic to). All I know is that I couldn’t stop rocking my body (trying to counteract the land motion sickness)…I couldn’t stop crying…I couldn’t get the darkness out of my mind and my body.
Despite having a flu shot and despite taking Tamiflu within about 14 hours of symptom onset, I wasn’t fever-free (without the help of meds) until Tuesday, and I started getting sick Thursday. That’s six days of really sick even though having the flu shot is supposed to minimize the duration of the flu (if it doesn’t protect you entirely). That’s six days of misery even with the Tamiflu (which is also supposed to shorten the duration also). It seems like this virus ran its course regardless of the vaccine and antiviral meds.
People started joking with me that I actually had Coronavirus. Then some people seemed serious once they heard how things went down. My roommate from the cruise came down sick two or three days after me, but then she tested negative for the flu. They treated her like it was the flu though, and she had the same weird oppressive depression as me. Well if I had the flu and she got it from me, then she should’ve had a positive flu test. And her timing of illness (and it being the same kind of illness) seems to point very strongly to her getting whatever it was from me. So, of course I’ll never know, but I have to wonder if I actually had Coronavirus. And thus becomes the moment when this thing become close and personal to me.
Standing Strength 